Okay, so that's two weeks knocked out of the way. What about the rest of my life up to this point? That's a good question, and if you figure it out please let me know. As I've told many people, it's like I just couldn't get a grip on life last week! Doing a million things, late to bed every night, not putting on eyeliner....That last bit might sound strange, but it's actually a very good way to gage if I'm totally running behind in life or not. If I don't have time to put on eyeliner in the morning, then it means I'll be behind all day. It's true.
One other thing I could not get a grip on last week was my time spent with God. On Sunday my husband and I got together over a meal with some people like we do every Sunday, and one of the topics of discussion around the table was what everyone was doing to stay in tune with Jesus. Everyone had great things to say about practical, meaningful ways in which they were staying in tune with Jesus throughout the week. Needless to say, I felt pretty useless. I didn't have any good stories to share about the fantastic things I'm doing to stay close to Jesus. Sitting there in silence, wanting to climb under the table, I realized that I didn't have to have a fantastic story. I just had to have an honest story. I put a constant burden on myself to be a strong, "has it all together" leader type, but that's not a burden that Jesus has given me. I am in a relationship with Jesus and his other followers, and that means that I don't always have to be strong and have it all together. What it does mean is that I always have to be honest. ALWAYS. Well folks, just like it's hard to say, "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong" to your spouse (and you're kidding yourself if you say that's never happened), it's hard to say "I struggled in my relationship with my Lord this week". However, I piped up and shared how every one's stories were really nice, but mine was not so exciting. I shared how I didn't give my relationship with Jesus much time, energy, or respect. And you know what? No one threw rotten tomatoes at me. No one called me a sinner and ran me out of the house. People listened and nodded. Do you know why they nodded? Because they've been in the same exact spot before.
I don't really know the point of this post, my fingers just started to fly. Maybe it's meant to be an encourager. If you're an all out follower of Jesus, don't be afraid to admit when you're struggling in your relationship with him. Confession is good. If you don't quite know what to think about Jesus and the commitment it takes to be a Christian, then don't be afraid to talk to someone who does. Questions are good. And with that...good night.
