Longing for heaven

On Monday afternoon I hopped in the Corolla and started the trek to Wichita, Kansas. My grandmother passed away last Thursday, her funeral was going to be Tuesday, and her burial Wednesday. I will go through the significance of those two days in a few moments, but for now let's focus on the drive up. The drive to Kansas from West Texas is scenic in its own way...there are a lot of farms and open skies. Some people might deem it boring or ugly. I however hold within me a gift and a blessing, it's that of being able to enjoy any car trip regardless of the location. Would you like to know my secret? It's the fact that there are two very specific bits of scenery that transport me to magical places. One is wide open wheat or hay fields (they might actually be the same thing for all I know) and the other is seeing the moon or big, fluffy clouds in the sky during the day. I could actually add the ocean as number three...but I see it so rarely these days that I don't count it in a regular list. Anyway, if you drive across the country you will see one or both of those natural occurrences as you drive. Let me explain to you why I love them so much.
I don't know how to explain it, but there is something beautiful about the moon shining (reflecting, whatever) during the day. It reminds me of being a child. For some weird reason I remember looking up at the sky as a kid, seeing the moon, and being happy. That feeling has never gone away. I cherish it and hope to share it with a little one of my own some day. Big open fields with either brown or green flowing grasses call out to me often. They beckon me to run through them, the wind blowing in my hair. They also beckon me to lay down in their tall grasses, look up at the sky, and dream. The only thing that keeps me from pulling over and running through a field is the fear of getting shot by some crazy farmer, and the annoying reality that laying down in a field of tall grass is actually much more itchy and buggy than my imagination allows for. These two bits of scenery hold another very important power; they make me long for heaven. What I mean by that is that I can actually imagine myself running through a field until I run all the way to heaven, or all of a sudden receiving the ability to fly and flying toward the moon until I reach heaven. I realize that sounds totally crazy, but it means so much to me. I don't mean that I just fly up to that big expanse in they sky that some call the heavens, I fly up and meet with God. Actually, I go home to God. I think once I meet God face to face I'm never going to want to go back to where I came from! Don't get me wrong, I don't get excited about dying. What I do get excited about is when all the junk of this world is over and I'm with God in a much more peaceful place.
Needless to say I longed for heaven a lot on the seven hour trip to Kansas Monday!
The ceremony surrounding my grandmother's funeral and burial were hard; hard because it was hard on my family. I wasn't very close to my grandmother, but I could see that she blessed a lot of people's lives. I know that her children, grandchildren, friends, and other family will miss her a lot. I don't want to write much more about that, so I'll leave it where it is except for this one last thing. Even though grieving is really hard, I can thank God that because I've lost my grandmother recently I'm able to empathize with the people around me who are suffering the loss of loved ones. Experiencing the pain of others is a powerful thing. I guess our Savior knew what he was doing....
I actually started this blog post about a week ago, so I feel like it is quite scattered. I'm going to leave it like it is, because to be honest my life is scattered right now! I did a garage sale with my mother in law on Friday and Saturday after I got back from Kansas. It was exhausting, but a blessing because they let us keep the money for our move to Australia. Tomorrow night I have my second degree black belt test, so I've been up at the dojo a lot this week trying to get ready. Part of my belt test will also be participating in two seminars Friday and Saturday. I'm excited about it all, but to be honest will be even more excited when life can get a little more back to normal.